An Inventory of What Was Lost

Jaq Green | Issue 2.7

— Editor's Note —

This is a unique piece. It is a powerful story based on the author's real-life experience growing up in a religious cult.

Out of respect for the author's process ("process" taking on a little more meaning in a work like this), we've decided to do everything we can to preserve the formatting: to respect the writing as a process and present the unaltered, unfiltered product of that process.

To that end, we've made minimal edits. We've also taken the unusual step of presenting this story in PDF form.

It may be a little harder to read on mobile devices, but the formatting will be preserved.

The process will be preserved.

Another first for us: we've asked Jaq to contribute a brief craft note on the story. We'll publish that note here.

Below, you'll also find a link to view the piece in your browser as a PDF hosted by Google Drive. No download necessary.

On behalf of the entire Wallstrait staff, I want to thank Jaq for trusting us with this story.

I hope you'll read the piece before returning to Jaq's note.

— DJ

View the PDF in Your Browser

— Author’s Note —

This is what happened to us.

More or less. There wasn’t a fire. There were more sisters and fewer paps. But I did spend the whole time eating mustard. I spent most of it silent. I have all these scriptures memorized.

"An Inventory of What Was Lost" is written the way my thoughts worked when I first left the cult. Which is to say, chaotically. The scenes are short and scattered. They’re formatted as lists or scripts or poetry, because that’s the only way I could look at what I was seeing. Playing with form, with memory, is safe in literature when it isn’t safe anywhere else.

This story is dedicated to my siblings. Most of my stories are.

Thank you for reading. Thank you especially if you stare at a page for a few extra seconds. The page appreciates it.

— JG

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Jaq Green lives with their polycule and menagerie in the New England woods. They spend some of their time teaching preschool and the rest of it finding strange adventures. Their work examines memory, beauty, and identity and has been featured in Pinky Thinker Press, Hindsight Journal, Exponent II, and others. Follow Jaq on Instagram.